Our Challenges

We all face challenges, but it’s not the size of the problem that’s important. It’s our perception of that problem; it’s how big or small we make it in our minds. Don’t make your problems bigger. Learn instead to make God bigger.

How To Make Networking Work

To be part of a successful network, it’s important to follow a few basic rules.

• Don’t wait until you desperately need a network to begin developing one (for example, looking for a new job). Networks are based on trust, respect, and personal chemistry — that doesn’t happen overnight.
• Join a social network or an industry or professional association to add structure to your professional relationships while expanding your network.
• Know your personal strengths and the strengths of each member of your network. This information will come in very handy in helping others. (For example, who understands technology? Who knows something about buying a car? Who knows the inside scoop about applying to college? Who knows the most about New York City nightlife? Who has friends in high places? Who can comment on a resume? Who can advise on interviewing skills?) This will enable you to identify the best person in your network to help a friend.
• If you join a group (such as a trade association), get involved rather than sitting on the sidelines. You receive only as much as you are willing to give.
• Group get-togethers are not substitutes for one-on-one meetings. Large gatherings tend to have “fixed agendas,” making it difficult for members to open up personally. Furthermore, a few members may dominate discussions in large groups.
• Networks expand and contract. Keep in touch with members of your network on a regular basis or you’ll drift apart. (Birthday and holiday greetings, or congratulatory notes, require only a few minutes of your time and will be remembered.)
• Networking offers unbelievable potential. For example, in today’s tough job market, what do you think would be more effective — blindly responding to available positions by sending out hundreds of resumes or getting an informal introduction from a colleague in your network? Take the time to nurture your network. It can change your life!

From Not Working To Networking

Need some personal advice? Looking to make some new connections? Perhaps you should try networking. But consider networking only if you are prepared to help others first. Otherwise, your efforts will fall short.Unfortunately, some take the position that “doing everything” is better than “doing less.” They treat networking like a game of bumper cars in which progress is measured by the number of people that they run into rather than the quality of the underlying relationships created. Simply put, handing out more business cards at a meeting or adding more friends to Facebook or Linkedin is “notworking.”Others treat networking like a personal marketing campaign dedicated to spreading the word about themselves and their needs, while ignoring the needs of their peers. This “me-first thinking” not only will not work but is actually counterproductive.Still other people join affinity groups merely for personal gain, but it doesn’t take long for people to learn that these folks are not givers, but takers. These “notworkers” don’t understand the importance of building long-lasting relationships; instead, they’ll reach out to others only when they need something. And then they’re surprised when their requests produce little.Successful networking occurs when people come together based on mutual respect and common interests, then voluntarily provide support for others with no strings attached. They believe that by helping others, they’ll eventually end up helping themselves.

The Decision Is Yours

It’s so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day minutiae that we quickly lose sight of the big picture. Many who report having paused long enough to reflect on where they’ve been have concluded that they’ve squandered much of their precious time on earth.Even those who have secured enviable positions of power and material wealth admit that their decisions to follow these paths have come with real costs  in relationships and precious moments that can’t be replaced. This doesn’t have to be you.The path that you choose is your decision and yours alone. The only correct answer is the one that feels best for you. As George Eliot once said, “It is never too late to be what you might have been.” The key is to establish goals that matter most to you and your loved ones, align your priorities around these goals, and then pursue them, while taking time to enjoy your life and remain true to yourself and to those who love you.Your goal shouldn’t be cramming as much stuff as possible into your life. You’d think we’d have learned something from watching a hamster run around on its exercise wheel. Success and happiness are achieved by spending time and attention in areas that really matter to you. No matter how old you are, you still have time to change course. As Alan Lakein once said, “Time = Life, Therefore, waste your time and waste your life, or master your time and master your life.” Are you spending your precious time in the areas that matter most to you? It’s your choice.

Theres No Dress Rehearsal In Life

“She called me a bad name.” “He took my toy.” “She didn’t like my dress.” “I had it first.” Ah yes, the thrill of being young again.
Remember how important these things seemed when we were young? In retrospect, they now seem so trivial.
Of course, as we get older and wiser, we focus on important things, like showing our friends how successful we’ve become, outflanking others to get a promotion, keeping up with the Joneses, and ensuring that we look young — forever. You’d think we’d have learned something from our kindergarten days, wouldn’t you?
The truth is, we’re often so busy running on our treadmill to nowhere that we can lose focus on the things that really matter in life. Before we know it, the seconds have become minutes, the days have become weeks, and the months have become years. And when we finally take time to catch our breath, we look back in retrospect and think, “Where did all the time go?”
It’s so easy to be blinded by ambition, power, and success that many folks miss out on the simple pleasures of life. For example, did your children’s birthday parties, Little League games, or dance recitals make your priority list? Were you available to counsel your friend in need? Did you make the time to help your kids with their homework, to attend back-to-school nights, or to put down your newspaper/telephone/iPad when your family wanted to tell you about their day? Or was something else more important to you at the time?
Now, I know that you lead a hectic life and that you’re getting pulled in a million different directions. The truth is, it’s not that you don’t have enough time to devote to things that matter to you — but rather, the time needed was spent doing something else.
It goes without saying that every time you decide to focus on one thing in your life, you’ve also decided not to spend that time on something else.
Unfortunately, once opportunities are lost, they’re often lost forever — life doesn’t come with a dress rehearsal. So, if you think you may regret the path you’re on, it may be time to change course.

Expectations Is The Key

A good precept to follow is to underpromise but overdeliver. Always try to do just a little more than the client expects. This can best be accomplished if you understand how expectations are created. Sometimes they are based on hearsay; for example, a client may get a rave review about you or your organization from friends. Expectations can also be based on advertising claims or on a prior experience: “Vendors have always provided me with terrific service.” Other times they are the result of personal expectations.
Once you understand how expectations are created, you can manage them:

• Carefully examine the situation for all possible problems before making promises about timing, costs, product performance, or service.
• When marketing intangibles, fully describe your end product so clients know what they will receive (and can avoid surprises).
• If clients request changes that translate into additional costs, be sure to spell them out as they are incurred to minimize the shock when the bill arrives.
• Explain tactfully that delays in receiving approval may translate into delays in the final delivery.
• When you know of delays or problems, don’t wait till they compound; bring problems to the client’s attention at the earliest possible moment.
• Be conservative in your estimates rather than promising the world and falling short on your promises.
• Don’t be afraid to be human––to say that you can’t deliver when it’s not possible.

Friends For Life

Are you a good friend? Let’s look at some of the telltale signs. A true friend takes action before a request is made; she volunteers to be the designated driver on New Year’s Eve; he helps himself to a beer rather than wanting to be “waited on”; she doesn’t take the picture because she’s expected to be included in the family photo; he doesn’t leave the party with the crowd but instead, stays to clean up the mess; she hears what you said, but also hears what you didn’t say; when he is awakened by your call, he still says he’s so glad to hear from you; she throws you a celebration party even though you beat her out for the promotion; he knows it’s only an argument and not the end of the friendship; she loses more sleep over your problems than over her own; he knows you’d give him the shirt off your back, although he’d never ask; she gives you the bigger piece of cake, even if it’s chocolate.
Being a friend involves so much more than doing a favor for someone or having an occasional chat on social media. It means more than sharing a sandwich or an occasional smile. Friends are people who share one another’s dreams, open their hearts, and complete one another’s life. As Muhammad Ali once said, “Friendship . . . is not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.”