Friends For Life

Are you a good friend? Let’s look at some of the telltale signs. A true friend takes action before a request is made; she volunteers to be the designated driver on New Year’s Eve; he helps himself to a beer rather than wanting to be “waited on”; she doesn’t take the picture because she’s expected to be included in the family photo; he doesn’t leave the party with the crowd but instead, stays to clean up the mess; she hears what you said, but also hears what you didn’t say; when he is awakened by your call, he still says he’s so glad to hear from you; she throws you a celebration party even though you beat her out for the promotion; he knows it’s only an argument and not the end of the friendship; she loses more sleep over your problems than over her own; he knows you’d give him the shirt off your back, although he’d never ask; she gives you the bigger piece of cake, even if it’s chocolate.
Being a friend involves so much more than doing a favor for someone or having an occasional chat on social media. It means more than sharing a sandwich or an occasional smile. Friends are people who share one another’s dreams, open their hearts, and complete one another’s life. As Muhammad Ali once said, “Friendship . . . is not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.”

Stages Of Friendship

There are several different stages of a friendship — beginning with casual acquaintance, then meaningful relationship, and finally, lasting friendship. While social media helps us keep in touch with our casual acquaintances, meaningful relationships require something more, while lasting friendships demand still greater personal commitment.

There More To Friendship

When I was young, my friend let me borrow the red crayon from his new box. So I let him ride my bike. When we got older, my friend defended me in a snowball fight and sat with me at lunch so I wouldn’t have to eat alone. Years later, when we were in high school, and I had forgotten my book, my friend “saved my life” by lending me her book so I could do my homework. What would I do without true friends?
Your definition of friendship may change during your lifetime, but its value won’t. True friends have fun together, even when they’re doing nothing special. They communicate without talking and seem close despite living miles apart. True friends take time to listen to your problem when you’re having a terrible day and help you find the sun on a stormy day. True friends are a source of honest feedback and continuous support. They watch your back, preserve your innermost secrets, and lend you a shoulder when things go south — they even know when you need your space.
True friends tell you the truth — even when it hurts — and they put up with you when you’re in a miserable mood. Since true friends know you better than you do, they know when you can, even when you think you can’t. And although they’ll help make you a better person, true friends won’t keep score. You can always be yourself around your true friends. They accept you for who you are rather than for who they want you to be. And, that’s because a true friend cares about your happiness and loves you unconditionally. As Elbert Hubbard said, “A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.”

 

What Causes Business Relationships To Fail

There isn’t a single set of rules to achieve success, but there are certain behaviors that should be avoided. For example, partnerships cannot succeed if a partner is kept in the dark and is unaware of key events. Partnerships also cannot succeed when one partner attempts to gain the upper hand or has selfish motives. Furthermore, partnerships cannot succeed if they involve scapegoating; everyone should have a vested interest in the venture’s success.
Relationships fail for many reasons; some important ones are:

Win Win Business Relationships

Formal contracts don’t make successful relationships, people do. It requires a willingness to create a foundation on which trust , loyalty, and commitment can be built. Remember, every relationship is unique and must be treated as special. The basic rule is that you get what you put into the relationship. A partnership is successful to the degree that it’s win-win for everyone. It replaces the traditional “us versus them” mentality with a new “us” that enables everyone to grow and to reach their full potential.
People who are good at building successful alliances work very hard to structure win-win relationships. A partnership succeeds in the long run when both organizations work for their common good rather than each trying to gain the upper hand. When partners spend all their time trying to outnegotiate each other, the result is that everybody loses. Moreover, one of the organizations is likely to come out noticeably ahead, leading to jealousy and resentment. In win-win relationships, everyone does their utmost to understand their partner’s needs and to satisfy them.
In the past, conventional wisdom said that multiple vendors increased competition and enhanced performance; that playing one supplier against another was good business. The goal was to win at all costs. Today, however, the trend is quite the opposite. Experience has demonstrated that the only way to build lasting relationships is to begin with honorable intentions, make a commitment, and invest the time and effort with a select few.

Promoting Beliefs and Values

Because beliefs and values form the heart of an organization’s culture, great leaders never miss an opportunity to reinforce them. They know that once internalized, these beliefs and values affect the norms that influence day-to-day actions, determine what’s important, reinforce appropriate behavior, and change attitudes.
If these norms are to be institutionalized, management must support them by clear and visible actions. Therefore, management must live these values in their heads and their hearts. Otherwise, they may be inconsistent in applying them, or worse, fail to promote them in times of stress. If commitment is perceived as rhetoric without substance, the effort will fail.

Is It Worth The Gamble

People place small bets every day –– such as running out to an appointment at the last minute or leaving home without an umbrella. Even though the consequences are small, you’re still rolling the dice –– sometimes you’ll win, other times you’ll lose. The danger is that after you get a few small wins under your belt, you’ll develop a false sense of security and feel you can double down. It’s very easy to convince yourself that you’re unbeatable. And, like a gambler, your bets get bigger and bigger…until you lose.
Did you ever stop and think of the effect that risk taking is having on your life? For example, is the stress having an impact on your health? Are you losing needed sleep worrying about the future? Does your life feel like an emotional roller coaster?
Think of the consequences of your actions: What if the BIG bet doesn’t go your way? How would the loss change your life? What would the loss mean to your family? What impact would the loss have on the relationships that you hold dear? Will you ever be able to recover from it?
So remind me again…why are you risking it all? Is it the thrill and the adrenaline rush? Are you trying to impress your friends? Does it make you feel that much better to have one more toy than your neighbor has?
Living on the edge isn’t the “be-all and end-all.” It doesn’t take a brain surgeon to realize that there are no guarantees in life — which means that playing the odds through excessive risk taking is like playing with fire. Unfortunately, when you get burned, there may be serious consequences. As author Ray Bradbury once said, “Living at risk is jumping off the cliff and building your wings on the way down.”
The key, then, is to take calculated risks, and only place bets on things that you’re willing to lose. As the saying goes, “Take risks: If you win, you will be happy; if you lose, you will be wise.” Make sense? You bet.